wake up call

This post was the post I wanted to write just before. As something inappropriate happened, I decided to postpone it. As I postpone a post, usually I would not want to mention it again, or the matter has gone pass, or else I feel no passion for writing it.


And yet, I thought I would not need to type this post out, but as the title says wake up call, this is really a wake up call for me.


As we all move towards our everyday routine, you wake up, u brush your teeth (or you don’t), you eat your breakfast (or you don’t either), you go to school, college, or work, wherever you go, you are certainly living on the time basis where from what time to what time you have to do this.


Not living like a zombie, but just it shows that we are living no matter whatever we do, or wherever we go.


And here comes the best part, unexpected things that come bumping into your way. You may find money on the floor, get a new dog from mama, or the person you had a crush on says she loves you. These are the unexpected things anyone would be happy to hear or encounter. But bear in mind, not all the time good things happen.


And all sadists will gladly tell you that don’t be too positive that money will fall from heaven, the dog may bite you one day, and the person you love may hurt and leave you one day.


For we live in a world that pain and suffering is a part and parcel of life, I still keep on the positive track of everything.


No matter how smooth our live may be, we should open up ourselves to possibilities of hurt, and friend, the way to get out of it. We are not being God and trying to predict futures, but it is just a matter of saving more money just in case of an accident. As we go for medical checkup for hearts.


I had a wake up call recently, that even how sweet my life would be now, may suddenly end. Without any sign, I am suddenly stricken into despair. I find that I had slowly become weak, and easily set up on fire. Anger my friends would only lead to more despair.


When I realize my happy world was being shaken I start to ask myself is it true? That my world may fall upon me? What was it that triggers it? What did I do or not do? Questioning myself I still could not find the reason and I dare not make my own assumptions. In a situation of question marks, pain just gets stronger.


Suddenly you feel yourself so vulnerable; a match could light up a fire. But that Sunday I went to church. I skip Sunday service for so long. Reappearing was a joy for everyone and of course for me. I listen to TK preach that morning. A song lyric struck my bitter heart. That God is enough for me, and certainly do God is enough for me. To cure my bitter heart I know that there is still HIM.


Spend my time with Amanda that Sunday afternoon who I don’t see often. Brought me to a beautiful bakery. Just chatting with her always always makes me feel better, as if she is the second Janice. She understands. Each word I want to say. Having her as a sister in christ is really heaven sent.


And so, a wake up call made me notice that anything could happen anytime. We just got to be ready. And keep on loving. Knowing that I would hurt, I don’t stop loving, I don’t start hating. For if I stop loving and start hating, I surely would not feel more happy. I love with all I have without regrets knowing that she deserves all of it.

I am happy.