could i make it?

its just almost 5 months after she past away...
but as each day passes, it hurts even more deeper...
isn't it suppose to be better as time wash away that scar...

ur cousin sister sms me just now..i was lying on the bed with the lights on, with my mind on whatever that came across...

i formated the phone and lost a lot of numbers...even mann's number.

all of a sudden i saw a msg saying that "im at janice's hse now..tonight gonna stay at her room"...

terkejut saya...

actually it was mann...she overnite at her house tonite...coz she'll be going to penang with auntie tml...

i've been missing her these days...even nicky oso sometimes tell me the same thing..
i just act thoug...n ignored that msg...

but tonite..i could cry again...when i recall the times when she told me how much she love her new house so much...her furniture...her appliances...the condo's facilities...

the last time we were in her hse was on new year's eve...we had a splended night steamboat...

audrey was there too...we prepared our meal tat night together...at her hse...

evrything was so delicious as d ingredients were custom chosen...

adrian even bought whisky for us...had dinner...sip a little..

if that wasnt enuf...we went swimming in the middle of the night...no one else but us..

too bad the guard had to chase us off...so funny...had to go back up...just in time to see the fire crackers on her balcony that night...

but she wasnt tat happy...like always...she remain d shady...fought on the phone with her bf...

anyway...adrian and i would owaz bring things back into mood...even if she was frowning inside...

J...we all miss u even more and more each day...u've impacted us so much...

impacted the ppl around you, as u were a down to earth person who show concern to ppl all ard you...never hurt anyone...but owaz hurted by people...

be cool gal...we're here living our days not letting u go...keeping u as an example...remind us to cherish our frens by our side...

even if we scar each other...now and then...its just a move for us to grow...

catching up...

live in uni now is quite stabil already...
finally i see where i am going...what to do, an dmeet plenty of new friends that are so frenly...
just gotta hope i keep going on smoothly...why, its just a hope...

been so busy bout things, and rili no mood to type down anything, when there's actualli so much to type...

there was the 1st week of uni, the weeks to come, the prom nite..the upcoming fact nite...

there's so much things on my mind, i cant keep track of wat to do...

been well in class rili...especially for management class...d assignments rili are so challenging n makes me use my brain to answer them...n wat makes me love it..i usually score high scores like 9/10....haha...the satisfaction in that..

so much..so much happen...

yet one thing remains...that u janice, still not here with us...
i cant help but start to feel ur absence...
maybe its only 5 months...n maybe we've not talk to each other even longer than this..
but really not this way...usually we still hear some news from each other...

5 months...just like tat...slow or fast? i duno...everything's like a flash...
but when i look bak...u've oni gone for 5 months..which make me feel like a year has past...


why do i feel sad? i riili dun wan to feel this way...it hurts so much to know the thruth...

why do i cry...even if i noe that would not change a thing...

if only i noe what was the last thing u rili wanted to do...

i may just feel a lot beta...one last help for u....n u close to us...again...