exausted...

this few days memang pain in d neck...

when constantly argue with mum over uni things..and ask her not to worry about things and about me so much...

headache lah..tolong...

today woke up early to go to bank islam to pay my uni fees...

not too expensive, but watching that women taking money out of her pocket..i still feel like don't like...i wanted ptptn...but dear over worried mum afraid that it would burden me if i pay back..

what the f**king shit...she over heard that a month have to pay back rm500 over.. (like that geh wah can buy car lor)...stupid de...where got gov payment so expensive de????

when i explain to her the through deal...she cant accept it...argh..nvm...nvm..pay lah since she is so capable...


haiz..after going bank islam..went back to school to get some things done...
when back to JJ to get something from mum which i forgot..
went back home to bath (unnecessary...but weather rili hot)...
when to TS again to buy some new formal clothes...
and then wah la...come back to work at 5pm...till 9pm tonite...

but i am damn exausted...rushing and running...
my shoulder sakit leh..momo...where are you? come massage abit... =)

cant wait...

Isn’t it cool tat I don’t have to be home for the coming year…and 3 years to be exact…

Yes I may be exaggerating, but hey…im glad that this day came like revelations.. im going to uni...

Since im at bangi…I still can always come back on the weekends…thank mankind for transports..

Can’t wait to check out the new place…although I keep hearing ppl say how well equipped it is.. I still have a ready heart for disappointments…hehe…

Long for Sunday to come…
Long for meeting new people
Long to check out the place
Long to study the course I love
Long, Long, Long…


Still…I am worried about the women in my house…hope she doesn’t miss me too much…

fuh~ got many things to gao dim...alot alot of things to accomplish~

later JR n i go to buy luggage...
tomorrow going back to school...nite celebrate KY 's bday...
Wed go shopping with ka jie...nite go watch tranformers
Thurs got f6 gathering..at nite go steamboat with nicky..
Fri nite got appreciation nite for d ns thing...n my last nite at TK's b4 entering uni..
Sat...all to momo...
Sun...head off~~


weeheeheehohoho.....

going into Uni..

i did it...

i was so excited bout the results..but i did it...

im going to UKM to study econs...which is my 1st choice~

i should have applied UM as my 1st choice...

coz UM is so much more nearer...there's KTM and putra...fuh..

momo cant come to visit me ler..haiz~

but so glad and thank god i study near KL...

at least i can come back on fridays to sundays~

wahahaha....dont have to be at home ler...im so hepiiiiii.....


*damn excited*

J Oh J, where for art thou J?

Everything is different, we are moving on in so many ways…sometimes fast, sometimes slow.

Gonna continue studies soon…really glad that I had a good result and u knew it b4 u leave. I’ll be going into local uni soon. By Friday I’ll noe which uni I get.

I am moving too…mum bought a new house at Casa Ria. Will be moving there within half a year. So if you come to visit, don’t go to Jalan Mahkota lor…go Jalan Jejaka… Either way, im gonna stay in d uni’s hostel..compulsory for 1st year student leh… =)

Ka jie dey all will help me shift…like we help you last time when you move to Sri Putramas…
All of us came to help, I even woke up late..hahaz..so hapi ar can shift house…but still ng sae dak d old house…

i remember u told me on the phone tat u love the new house alot...got blue lights geh switch, can see KLCC, got rili cool swimming pool with slide, u even said there the security system quite strict...new use electronic cards to go in anywher...even into gym or sauna...

I oso love this new house a lot…but how to tell you? I told semua orang d…but still feel tat I haven’t tell everybody…

I really wana tell you tat im moving…I will go study in U..i will live in hostel…

I want you to see…tat we bcum old ler…

Same kindergarden, same primary school, same secondary school…thought half way in f4 u left…
We grew up together…almost everything we did together…together…even we went clubbing for the 1st time together…

Less than 5 times we went…and after tat I never go clubbing with d others…I wonder…will u be dancing beside me?

I am very happy ah…I can go into local U…I told everybody…but I can’t see your face when u hear this news…

I met ur biu mui on facebook…she so funny and cute…glad tat she was with you wenever u balik kampong…at 1st when we chat…start to talk bout u…I rili dunwan hear…

I don’t want feel tat u’re gone…I don’t want to remember the time ur mum called…

I just want to keep u as a happy memory…I don’t want to regret all the things we cudnt do together.

But why…I keep on remembering all the times we used to spend together? I feel so fan jin ah…

Last nite went to Pudu Plaza with SM…I remember we always go ther b4 sesi petang…
I see the word Pudu Ulu…I remember we said…eik…here is pudu ulu meh? PGRM wor… not consider as maluri or perdana meh..suddenly pudu ulu de…


I think im not sad…I think I didn’t lost you…I think I don’t need to be like this…

restart!

Aint dwelling on the pain and sorrows ni more…
Finally I get to go back home, and the doors are widely open…

Won’t let this go this time…

Won’t let myself be a silly kid anymore…will cherish the ones by my side dearly…

And for weeks, and months to come…even years…I noe where my heart sets…


Is where you lie...

maybe this is the answer..

Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.
Love never fails!
Everyone who prophesies will stop,
and unknown languages will no longer be spoken.
All that we know will be forgotten.
We don't know everything, and our prophecies are not complete.
But what is perfect will someday appear,
and what isn't perfect will then disappear.

1 Corinthians 13: 7-10

I am finding what love is…
coz I am struck and stung by my own actions, till I could not see and show that what truly love is.

But is it true that u can love someone so deeply in a short period of time?
I may fall in love quickly, but not deeply. See that in a relationship, u need two hands to clap. And if only one hand exist, how could you love with your heart?

I may let go of you so easily, left you to be alone, and I went on with my life.

I made you not trust me again and that I love you still. I made you felt that I come without a reason. Made you tremble when you see me. Made you hate me.

After this time…u still could not understand me. Sometimes I doubt should I come home?

After this time…could you see that I am still here? Waiting and waiting…

I want you to be happy, even with or without me…but can you see that u are hurting yourself.

I stay aside, waiting upon you. Till whenever u need a shoulder to cry on, even if

u may not love me anymore… I still couldn’t bear to see you hurt yourself.

hectic boring

Been out with different people every night…i don’t know how to divide my time ler…

I am so tired of being here in this blue box in my work place…here I lay always thinking about her, so suffer a…

Wed night went out with ka jie…thurs nite with gong po’s, than midnite go out with M6N… tonite go to home cell…mon to Sunday..i am always fully book…but where are you?

I want to be with you..where are you?

I saw SW yesterday…rili weird that we don’t talk anymore and ignore each other basically...I chat with ah mei last night about d langkawi trip…i asked her whether she’s in KL not, just coz we’ll drink at ma house this sat…but she said she’ll oni come back after spm…

Where were the times I had with you? M2…I didn’t notice that u were already a part of ma life that I took away. almost half a year laa…I am living without you.

All the fun places I go…I wish u were there. But everywhere I go..i am alone within my heart walls.

Hectic boring…

I run and run there…fill my schedule with friends left and right. But here again I stand. I stand.

I am tired. Very tired. I want to come home.


I want to cry..but tears ain’t rolling down this cheeks…

ambivalent

it is so weird that she doesn't knows what she really wants.

here i am standing all along. night n day, sunny or raining..i've not move an inch.
not a step further nor a step behind.

"i am sorry i don't have a role for love to play,
handover my heart, i'll find my way..."

its hard to stay this way. after months i lay here this way. for once i thought u'd shut d door, but why you come back to haunt me?

it hurts so much when u touch me. yet i let u lean on me. i have no guts to push you away. but u answered me, let's just be friends...

i stood still, keeping my cool, realizing that whatever i did, u wont forgive me deeply.

u didn't even open your heart to me, how could u feel that feeling we had before?

can't you see i don't feel it too? you have not deicde, but u lean on me.
i know when we touch, your heart isn't there.

everythings needs time..im not asking for us to go fast...we can start it all over...but why you push me aside?...and pull me in again...

i wait upon you without a move is cause i know that u cudn't forgive me so easily. but could you see that there were so many walls between us?

there were so many misunderstandings. all i can do is wait here...cause explaining isn't the answer...i am sorry...

pahang getaway~

Been to Pahang Jerantut on d 30th till d 1st and im back…

Everything was great, it was a church camp n I felt refresh from the camp…

We went to check out the elephants on d 1st day and went swimming in d evening.

Usually in camps like these we’ll sleep very late in d morning or dun sleep at all…but this time I guess I was too exhausted n was a bit unwell, went to bed around midnite..

On the 2nd day we went to the caves. Climb some slippery rocks n took some pics in d dusty cave.

On d 2nd nite I felt lazy to stay up but yet we played cards till around 3am n then go back to d room to watch some movie den…Zzzz….

This time din do many stupid things…but just took a lot of pics and observe the nature a lot..

Dunno why, but I felt more appreciative of the things around me, even d camps I go..i wish to linger a while more to check out the scenes around. Rather than d usual, I hang out too much with the guys~…haha…

I’m in a state of where my healing stage is almost over. This trip is more than a normal holiday to me, it is really a break for me…and made me stronger in so many sense. The camp speaker did open our hearts…and help me see things much clearer.

Did a lot of catch up with the people…and been facebooking a lot nowadays…which also helps me keep in touch with so much more people..fuh…can I say that.. I AM BACK!!!~~