Is beautiful when you are with the right person.
In many forms and ways love performs differently. But which is true love?
It is true when I am with you. It sweeps me off my feet, and lands me down softly on the ground.
It keeps my heart pounding each time we meet.
It hurts when we miss each other so intensely.
It’s sweet when you smile, and laugh crazily.
It fills my head only with…you…you…and you… *wah~~so many you…*
It makes me smile even if I am alone.
So crazily yet that’s true. That I am crazy for you.
And all I could be so free, being able to be myself the way you love it.
When I look right you don’t look left, just as the way I view love, you see it the same way I do.
Of how we often think and say the same things. Is it coincidental or our minds are one?
If I accidentally fall down, you pick me up and keep me running.
If I am sad you will say jokes to make me laugh.
If I miss you like gila, we will talk on the phone for hours.
If whatever comes in our way we will go through it together.
No matter what may come tomorrow, all I know now is that I love you with all my might.
And what the future comes we both know. Yet it’s alright because right now we have each other.
And for once in our lifetime we had a sweet memory like this that stay in our hearts forever.
Relationship changes and dies, but memories don’t. That’s what gonna last forever.
March 14, 2010
March 07, 2010
did u mean me?
Can somebody shake the coconut tree…
I was mentioning a few things at a time. Wasn’t only talking about one person.
If I accidentally hurt you, I am sorry.
Forgiveness isn’t something hard for me as you did not hurt me that deep.
We view our past failure as regrets and lessons in order we will not repeat, and sometimes change for the better.
We need to understand that to forget what had happen before sometimes takes time for certain people.
Sometimes if you choose to forget your past, it also means that you are running away from the truth, and not fixing that mistake.
Just sometimes this is what I mean. Sometimes it’s best to just forget. Forget what about some silly things that isn’t necessary to keep in our thoughts.
It all depends. Right?
Sometimes after making a mistake, it is hard to make our friends trust us again. I did it, but look where I am now? Everyone deserves a second chance, not just me, but anyone. I mean anyone ok?
It is how we hold that second chance. Do we cherish it? How we use that second chance? Do we waste it? Do we do things that make that second chance go away? How many chances do we have actually?
It is not easy to understand how a friend might think, especially not easy if we have not talk for awhile. It is not easy to guess even how well we may know someone. Sometimes, you will guess wrongly deep down inside what is she thinking. What is it that I am thinking? Who are my characteristics? I have no right to comment on it. No right to say how someone is. Everyone is special in their own way.
Here now, no one can really say who is who, what is what, unless we take out the step to create a whole truth for people to see and feel.
I was mentioning a few things at a time. Wasn’t only talking about one person.
If I accidentally hurt you, I am sorry.
Forgiveness isn’t something hard for me as you did not hurt me that deep.
We view our past failure as regrets and lessons in order we will not repeat, and sometimes change for the better.
We need to understand that to forget what had happen before sometimes takes time for certain people.
Sometimes if you choose to forget your past, it also means that you are running away from the truth, and not fixing that mistake.
Just sometimes this is what I mean. Sometimes it’s best to just forget. Forget what about some silly things that isn’t necessary to keep in our thoughts.
It all depends. Right?
Sometimes after making a mistake, it is hard to make our friends trust us again. I did it, but look where I am now? Everyone deserves a second chance, not just me, but anyone. I mean anyone ok?
It is how we hold that second chance. Do we cherish it? How we use that second chance? Do we waste it? Do we do things that make that second chance go away? How many chances do we have actually?
It is not easy to understand how a friend might think, especially not easy if we have not talk for awhile. It is not easy to guess even how well we may know someone. Sometimes, you will guess wrongly deep down inside what is she thinking. What is it that I am thinking? Who are my characteristics? I have no right to comment on it. No right to say how someone is. Everyone is special in their own way.
Here now, no one can really say who is who, what is what, unless we take out the step to create a whole truth for people to see and feel.
March 06, 2010
your 21st
Is it fast or slow? That another year had passed and I feel as if it all happened few months ago.
Everything is still fresh.
Don’t make me recall, but as I look around I see little kids that resemble us playing, talking. Just today when it was raining, I when out my room from studying, look up where the rain falls, I can see droplets failing nicely before it reaches the ground. And do you remember, we put our hands out to catch the rain drops. Our heads up laughing, see the rain so special fall down so nicely when you look up the side of the building.
Don’t want to think that today is your birthday; want it to just pass fast fast. But why it doesn’t. Didn’t want to go online today coz I don’t want to see those comments, don’t want to feel this upset when I am already so upset. When I know I will be, I still open your fb account to see. What gave me courage to do so was I had someone dear with me by my side. I don’t feel that intense hurt at that moment.
She helps me to feel better at times I feel that I am going to break down. We talked on the phone most of the time today, making my day pass easier. Janice, I love her very much, wish you could see how she is. I finally found the one, the true one that only appears in my dreams. You would be so happy for me.
Wherever you are, if you can hear us or not, I hope that you are happy. After suffering so much here, I hope that you actually went to a better place.
I am sorry J, for not being there. For neglecting you as a friend, I still regret it. Guess I have to put it down, put it all down. I know I can live my days as normal as can be. You know I can still smile.
Just one thing I should be thankful…maybe that it’s a good thing that you are not always by my side. If you were, how could I go on with my life every day?
This big day – stroke it of the calendar. One down, and many more special occasions to go. I don’t want to think and imagine how your 21st birthday would be, don’t want to tell myself how sad I am. World of friends who know J, let’s not frown, let’s not despair, let’s cry together and just let it go. We may lost someone dear to us, but let’s view it as she has gone to some place better, happier.
I may lose someone who knows me best, my memories I may just hold alone. But I have new friends, and I have you, someone that knows what my heart is saying. And forever I will move on with smile, saying, “I am grateful that once in my life, I had J as a my best friend”.
Everything is still fresh.
Don’t make me recall, but as I look around I see little kids that resemble us playing, talking. Just today when it was raining, I when out my room from studying, look up where the rain falls, I can see droplets failing nicely before it reaches the ground. And do you remember, we put our hands out to catch the rain drops. Our heads up laughing, see the rain so special fall down so nicely when you look up the side of the building.
Don’t want to think that today is your birthday; want it to just pass fast fast. But why it doesn’t. Didn’t want to go online today coz I don’t want to see those comments, don’t want to feel this upset when I am already so upset. When I know I will be, I still open your fb account to see. What gave me courage to do so was I had someone dear with me by my side. I don’t feel that intense hurt at that moment.
She helps me to feel better at times I feel that I am going to break down. We talked on the phone most of the time today, making my day pass easier. Janice, I love her very much, wish you could see how she is. I finally found the one, the true one that only appears in my dreams. You would be so happy for me.
Wherever you are, if you can hear us or not, I hope that you are happy. After suffering so much here, I hope that you actually went to a better place.
I am sorry J, for not being there. For neglecting you as a friend, I still regret it. Guess I have to put it down, put it all down. I know I can live my days as normal as can be. You know I can still smile.
Just one thing I should be thankful…maybe that it’s a good thing that you are not always by my side. If you were, how could I go on with my life every day?
This big day – stroke it of the calendar. One down, and many more special occasions to go. I don’t want to think and imagine how your 21st birthday would be, don’t want to tell myself how sad I am. World of friends who know J, let’s not frown, let’s not despair, let’s cry together and just let it go. We may lost someone dear to us, but let’s view it as she has gone to some place better, happier.
I may lose someone who knows me best, my memories I may just hold alone. But I have new friends, and I have you, someone that knows what my heart is saying. And forever I will move on with smile, saying, “I am grateful that once in my life, I had J as a my best friend”.
March 01, 2010
how to use a word?
Sometimes words we say, we used to hurt, we use to lie, we use to protect our self, we use in many ways good or bad.
Sometimes we mean what we say, and there are times we just lie on the surface. In all circumstances we all pass through this.
But when is it you are lying? And when is it you are not?
Don’t get use to lying so much until you choose to lie to yourself.
What did you say when you start to make a decision. Why are you off course, moving in another direction? Have you not said you will be the way you said you want to be?
Hard it is to change. Hard it is to be alone, hard it is to be the bad person. But as you had made a decision, stick with it. No matter how hard it is, it is not as hard as living your life with regret as a failure.
You tried; you tried to love with all your heart. That is what that matters. You should know better who loves you and who truly cares for you.
And for whatever reasons, all problems between two person needs two people to settle, not just one side rediscovering the whole thing and change for the other. Change is for the better, not for the worst.
Sometimes we misused our words and sometimes we cannot take it back. Why give chance for error to occur? Don’t misused words and regret it all over. I have been there, trust me many of us been there done that. Throwing out words like these just adds up hurt into your own life, not others.
Reconsider. What is going on?
Sometimes we mean what we say, and there are times we just lie on the surface. In all circumstances we all pass through this.
But when is it you are lying? And when is it you are not?
Don’t get use to lying so much until you choose to lie to yourself.
What did you say when you start to make a decision. Why are you off course, moving in another direction? Have you not said you will be the way you said you want to be?
Hard it is to change. Hard it is to be alone, hard it is to be the bad person. But as you had made a decision, stick with it. No matter how hard it is, it is not as hard as living your life with regret as a failure.
You tried; you tried to love with all your heart. That is what that matters. You should know better who loves you and who truly cares for you.
And for whatever reasons, all problems between two person needs two people to settle, not just one side rediscovering the whole thing and change for the other. Change is for the better, not for the worst.
Sometimes we misused our words and sometimes we cannot take it back. Why give chance for error to occur? Don’t misused words and regret it all over. I have been there, trust me many of us been there done that. Throwing out words like these just adds up hurt into your own life, not others.
Reconsider. What is going on?
February 26, 2010
the 2 weeks that passed...
Chinese New Year passed, valentines passed, midterm is passing, and athletics competitions also passing….
This cny is the most un-cny feeling I ever felt if I would compare it to the last few years. It is so funny that I din go bai nin to any of the friends houses except of coz for Sapo’s house. Did not even gamble. Weird…maybe its coz everyone is so busy, and there’s not much time for all of us. Although din go bai nin, angpao still not bad…if got go friends house will more abit..ngek ngek…
As valentine’s was on the 1st day of cny, we planned to celebrate a few days after. It makes no difference if you’re with the one you love; everyday can just be valentines. This valentines is the only valentines that I pass with someone I really love. Of all my 20 years of life…hahahaha…
And now it’s the midterms. Worried and excited, all set up and ready to sit for the exam, suddenly I gotta know that one of the paper is postponed to next week. While another paper clashes with my 200m event on this Sunday. So, in the end, this week I don’t have to sit for any exam.
To be so busy studying and suddenly now the pressure is not here, I feel more pressure. What am I to do with my spare time? Study of course. But as I am suppose to accomplish other things this coming week, I got to be studying again…heart beat very fast….
Going to UPM later for MASUM 2010, my event isn’t until Sunday. Fuh…as there are so many national athletes in UPM, I really hope that I can make it into the finals. Guys I know how much you all have faith in me, but sometimes I know my limits. Gold medals don’t come falling on me always… hahahahaha….
Am still coughing since ever b4 cny and during the festive week at home I had difficulty breathing almost every night I had to wake up sometimes around 5am in the morning gasping for air. As I make music through my lungs it is really a nightmare and not something you want to go through. Thank god when I come bak to ukm this week I can breathe well again. Went to see the panel doctor here and got medication for difficulty breathing.
And so, I just hope that I can breathe for my 4x400m event. During training I already died halfway in 300m. just hope that I don’t burden the team. And of coz my main event, 200m. jia you jia you!!
This cny is the most un-cny feeling I ever felt if I would compare it to the last few years. It is so funny that I din go bai nin to any of the friends houses except of coz for Sapo’s house. Did not even gamble. Weird…maybe its coz everyone is so busy, and there’s not much time for all of us. Although din go bai nin, angpao still not bad…if got go friends house will more abit..ngek ngek…
As valentine’s was on the 1st day of cny, we planned to celebrate a few days after. It makes no difference if you’re with the one you love; everyday can just be valentines. This valentines is the only valentines that I pass with someone I really love. Of all my 20 years of life…hahahaha…
And now it’s the midterms. Worried and excited, all set up and ready to sit for the exam, suddenly I gotta know that one of the paper is postponed to next week. While another paper clashes with my 200m event on this Sunday. So, in the end, this week I don’t have to sit for any exam.
To be so busy studying and suddenly now the pressure is not here, I feel more pressure. What am I to do with my spare time? Study of course. But as I am suppose to accomplish other things this coming week, I got to be studying again…heart beat very fast….
Going to UPM later for MASUM 2010, my event isn’t until Sunday. Fuh…as there are so many national athletes in UPM, I really hope that I can make it into the finals. Guys I know how much you all have faith in me, but sometimes I know my limits. Gold medals don’t come falling on me always… hahahahaha….
Am still coughing since ever b4 cny and during the festive week at home I had difficulty breathing almost every night I had to wake up sometimes around 5am in the morning gasping for air. As I make music through my lungs it is really a nightmare and not something you want to go through. Thank god when I come bak to ukm this week I can breathe well again. Went to see the panel doctor here and got medication for difficulty breathing.
And so, I just hope that I can breathe for my 4x400m event. During training I already died halfway in 300m. just hope that I don’t burden the team. And of coz my main event, 200m. jia you jia you!!
February 03, 2010
one wave after the other
When I stroke out one event on my list, I can see that there’s still others left there waiting for me to deal with.
The all waiting dance that I worried since last year is out of my mind now. Yet as it ends, the mid semester is here to haunt us all. It’s not that I don’t have time to study; it’s only my pig self who wants to sleep and just lay around.
When before this my body works out dancing and going to training. Now my brain is working hard to study. The most familiar word now is HARD which I should synonym it with SUCCESS. I have always lazed around or waste time unnecessarily.
This time, this semester my time is used up fully, and can be considered as wisely. Most importantly I don’t have to worry. I am doing what I like and in the same time I have time to sit on the table and study. I am not just studying like a crazy fool. I have you.
Sitting here sometimes I dream so far away, but I can come back and go on with my studies again. As we see that studies are the main thing we are in uni. I’m studying hard right now, so that I can see the word SUCCESS in the back of my mind.
Nothing is pulling me down, only lifting me up higher and higher.
YAT CEI GAYAO!
The all waiting dance that I worried since last year is out of my mind now. Yet as it ends, the mid semester is here to haunt us all. It’s not that I don’t have time to study; it’s only my pig self who wants to sleep and just lay around.
When before this my body works out dancing and going to training. Now my brain is working hard to study. The most familiar word now is HARD which I should synonym it with SUCCESS. I have always lazed around or waste time unnecessarily.
This time, this semester my time is used up fully, and can be considered as wisely. Most importantly I don’t have to worry. I am doing what I like and in the same time I have time to sit on the table and study. I am not just studying like a crazy fool. I have you.
Sitting here sometimes I dream so far away, but I can come back and go on with my studies again. As we see that studies are the main thing we are in uni. I’m studying hard right now, so that I can see the word SUCCESS in the back of my mind.
Nothing is pulling me down, only lifting me up higher and higher.
YAT CEI GAYAO!
February 01, 2010
hao siang gen ni biao bai~
I can die and go to heaven already. I’m so happy to have you.
Finally PAP ended, relieve but still do miss the feeling of going to practice and having fun with the gals. This sem is so much more relieved, I guess everyone become so pro in the dance d. HAPPY!
Am very proud again of the 5 of you, another successful dance.
Although sometimes not all 6 of us could dance together, yet in the end it turn out well, too well until I got overexcited and could not adjust to dance the mode I wanted to. In the end, I dance even more girly than the girls, hahahaha…joke….
It is so funny this time I felt no stress at all. Too relax till dance like during rehearsal. The best thing is that you saw me like a fool on the stage dancing. When usually I feel worried that I make a fool of myself on stage, it’s so weird that I feel alright. When usually I will go bang wall, this time I could laugh and laugh.
When usually I take care of how I look so much, last night I don’t care if I look funny, coz I know you will laugh and laugh as well. All I wanna see is just you laughing. All I want to be is for you. I am not changing I am just being the one I am suppose to be, and have you to laugh with. It’s all that matters.
You’re having your exams now, hope you can do well. I worry I keep u away from focusing on your studies, but I know if you put some more effort in it, you can do it. Don’t give up, even if sometimes things may look not right and not on track, you still haven’t reached the end. You still can change how it ends.
Now the wind blows to studies. Having mid sem exams after the holidays. Add oil add oil!
And athletics, I hope I can run faster and faster, skipped training for a whole week last week. Endurance must be down. I want to look handsome, don’t want to run last. Hahaha…
M.I.C.H.E.L.L.E L.E.O.N.G jia you~~~~~~~
Finally PAP ended, relieve but still do miss the feeling of going to practice and having fun with the gals. This sem is so much more relieved, I guess everyone become so pro in the dance d. HAPPY!
Am very proud again of the 5 of you, another successful dance.
Although sometimes not all 6 of us could dance together, yet in the end it turn out well, too well until I got overexcited and could not adjust to dance the mode I wanted to. In the end, I dance even more girly than the girls, hahahaha…joke….
It is so funny this time I felt no stress at all. Too relax till dance like during rehearsal. The best thing is that you saw me like a fool on the stage dancing. When usually I feel worried that I make a fool of myself on stage, it’s so weird that I feel alright. When usually I will go bang wall, this time I could laugh and laugh.
When usually I take care of how I look so much, last night I don’t care if I look funny, coz I know you will laugh and laugh as well. All I wanna see is just you laughing. All I want to be is for you. I am not changing I am just being the one I am suppose to be, and have you to laugh with. It’s all that matters.
You’re having your exams now, hope you can do well. I worry I keep u away from focusing on your studies, but I know if you put some more effort in it, you can do it. Don’t give up, even if sometimes things may look not right and not on track, you still haven’t reached the end. You still can change how it ends.
Now the wind blows to studies. Having mid sem exams after the holidays. Add oil add oil!
And athletics, I hope I can run faster and faster, skipped training for a whole week last week. Endurance must be down. I want to look handsome, don’t want to run last. Hahaha…
M.I.C.H.E.L.L.E L.E.O.N.G jia you~~~~~~~
January 26, 2010
being kind
Is it hard to just treat someone better than yourself? Is it wrong to make the move first? And is it a must, for someone else to treat you good.
Living in your own comfort zone, you will not want to come out, and when you are force to see the bitter truth, you could not allow.
Protected by false lies and words of comfort fool your mind you choose a better road to walk on. From there you grow not to love, not to be kind, choose to live the way as it is and don’t progress.
When a person falls, they get up, depending on the period of time they need. Some fast, some slow. Some may say they are already on their feet, but deep inside they have not cure. With a broken heart, you can’t love someone the way it is because your heart is not whole to start with.
Sometimes you will ask for more, but you don’t pour out the amount of love sufficient for him. Sometimes you just don’t expect so you won’t be disappointed.
Sometimes you keep it all to yourself because he will not understand.
If you fall, the term you “stand back on your feet” is when you can love someone with all your heart. Is when you put down those bitter past and laugh at your own silliness instead of regretting not being better.
When the time comes to you, you will see, but to see in what point of view I do not know. What matters most is you saw those weaknesses and mend it. Don’t leave a hole for those weaknesses to creep in.
Yet, don’t force yourself to do the impossible and prove to people that you are a better person. You do it for yourself, and you find pleasure in doing that. If what you do is tiring you emotionally, it brings harm to you. Being more tired, is being more disappointed and changes it to resent.
No matter how it would be, I am just here to crap bout what I think about it. I’m not trying to sound smart, and don’t say that I am. I just a traveler passing by, observing and learning.
Living in your own comfort zone, you will not want to come out, and when you are force to see the bitter truth, you could not allow.
Protected by false lies and words of comfort fool your mind you choose a better road to walk on. From there you grow not to love, not to be kind, choose to live the way as it is and don’t progress.
When a person falls, they get up, depending on the period of time they need. Some fast, some slow. Some may say they are already on their feet, but deep inside they have not cure. With a broken heart, you can’t love someone the way it is because your heart is not whole to start with.
Sometimes you will ask for more, but you don’t pour out the amount of love sufficient for him. Sometimes you just don’t expect so you won’t be disappointed.
Sometimes you keep it all to yourself because he will not understand.
If you fall, the term you “stand back on your feet” is when you can love someone with all your heart. Is when you put down those bitter past and laugh at your own silliness instead of regretting not being better.
When the time comes to you, you will see, but to see in what point of view I do not know. What matters most is you saw those weaknesses and mend it. Don’t leave a hole for those weaknesses to creep in.
Yet, don’t force yourself to do the impossible and prove to people that you are a better person. You do it for yourself, and you find pleasure in doing that. If what you do is tiring you emotionally, it brings harm to you. Being more tired, is being more disappointed and changes it to resent.
No matter how it would be, I am just here to crap bout what I think about it. I’m not trying to sound smart, and don’t say that I am. I just a traveler passing by, observing and learning.
January 21, 2010
as i had said, i am busy.
So many could happen in one week and so little time to digest.
To wrap it up, I’ve been training hard almost every evening for the inter university competition in Feb. really hope that I can compete well in the upcoming events, as there will be many national athletes contending together.
This was what I imagine I will do even before I entered uni, but training by myself wasn’t constant and followed my mood. Could not say that it is in my blood, but still I love it. Yet, training has turn 360 degrees, from slow jog to speeding all the way, from 3 rounds to 15. Just takes my breath away.
Besides running, there’s dancing. One friend commented, “Michelle’s lifestyle so healthy”, made me laugh. There’s a look in their eyes that they envy me being so healthy. When envy exists, but no action is done to achieve what u envy, it is better not to envy.
Dancing is every night till at least 11pm. compare to last sem which lasted till 1am in the morning, this time it is better.
Being so mobile, it’s a miracle that my leg is healing. All the white stuffs are cleared. There was one time when it started to smell. It smelled like Mi Sedap’s flavoring. One night I tot my roommate was cooking instant noodles. I ask her, wah…so late still eat. she just nodded and smiled. The second day, I smell the same smell, but this time, my roommate wasn’t there. 1 thing was similar is that at both time I smell tat odor, I was cleaning my wound. So funny.
As I have predicted, this semester I would be in UKM more often. So often till sometimes I can’t go back on weekends. When I reach home, I feel so blessed. But by being here so often I am closer with the friends over here. As of last semester, I spent too much time somewhere else and wasn’t always in UKM. Friends in uni are essential as I will spend almost all the time here and study with them for 3 years.
Well, it’s dancing, running, and of course studying, which I always don’t put it in my mind. Since being here in uni, studies become the core of survival in order to stay on. I am getting use to this system, and adjusting my laziness level towards studies. Studies…I LOVE YOU.
I know I can do it, just that I can’t afford neglecting my studies due to the influence of other people’s actions. I just gotta keep on track no matter what hits me. I’m gonna excel this semester and the semesters to come.
I am gonna do better for the strength I have behind me, for the comfy pillow I have if I fall. For a special someone is always there. For all the reasons that the star is shinning.
To wrap it up, I’ve been training hard almost every evening for the inter university competition in Feb. really hope that I can compete well in the upcoming events, as there will be many national athletes contending together.
This was what I imagine I will do even before I entered uni, but training by myself wasn’t constant and followed my mood. Could not say that it is in my blood, but still I love it. Yet, training has turn 360 degrees, from slow jog to speeding all the way, from 3 rounds to 15. Just takes my breath away.
Besides running, there’s dancing. One friend commented, “Michelle’s lifestyle so healthy”, made me laugh. There’s a look in their eyes that they envy me being so healthy. When envy exists, but no action is done to achieve what u envy, it is better not to envy.
Dancing is every night till at least 11pm. compare to last sem which lasted till 1am in the morning, this time it is better.
Being so mobile, it’s a miracle that my leg is healing. All the white stuffs are cleared. There was one time when it started to smell. It smelled like Mi Sedap’s flavoring. One night I tot my roommate was cooking instant noodles. I ask her, wah…so late still eat. she just nodded and smiled. The second day, I smell the same smell, but this time, my roommate wasn’t there. 1 thing was similar is that at both time I smell tat odor, I was cleaning my wound. So funny.
As I have predicted, this semester I would be in UKM more often. So often till sometimes I can’t go back on weekends. When I reach home, I feel so blessed. But by being here so often I am closer with the friends over here. As of last semester, I spent too much time somewhere else and wasn’t always in UKM. Friends in uni are essential as I will spend almost all the time here and study with them for 3 years.
Well, it’s dancing, running, and of course studying, which I always don’t put it in my mind. Since being here in uni, studies become the core of survival in order to stay on. I am getting use to this system, and adjusting my laziness level towards studies. Studies…I LOVE YOU.
I know I can do it, just that I can’t afford neglecting my studies due to the influence of other people’s actions. I just gotta keep on track no matter what hits me. I’m gonna excel this semester and the semesters to come.
I am gonna do better for the strength I have behind me, for the comfy pillow I have if I fall. For a special someone is always there. For all the reasons that the star is shinning.
January 11, 2010
burst
Finally the tumor on my leg burst.
Accidentally knock my left hip to something last week, and I felt pain since then. Been clumsy, and knocking into things lately.
To those who knows, n saw it…it has become red and purple.
But don’t worry. I am ok.
Last two days were SUKEM, which is the inter colleges athletics championship. After leaving the tracks for quite awhile, I am amaze that I still have some tricks up my sleeves. Hahaha…
Got 3 gold medals and 1 bronze out of 4 events. Did not expect this many gold, and I could not sleep the night before the 1st event.
This time it is so different, meeting new friends in a totally new environment that no one knows you. except for a few friends lah. Who is fast and who’s not? Who can I share what I am feeling right that moment? Who will feel happy for me when I win? Who will be cheering for me when I feel scared?
This time is different, coz you call up, and everything changes.
It is a miracle that I can still run with my bump on my left leg. Yet yesterday the skin started to peel, a sitting down on the floor sometime hurts.
Worried, I start to think, if I die, what will it be? So many things going on in this second who will know how I really feel? So many to say to so many cherish people. I can’t die like this.
Then, when I woke up this morning, I look at it. There’s white thing coming out. I am positive that I am going to die. Gone crazy for a while, but I kept on with my daily routine.
Go bath, eat breakfast, play FB. Den, I look at it again. the white stuff came oozing out. I just gotta wipe it away. While wiping, I keep thinking, when oni can wipe finish?
Change my clothes and when to take bus. In the bus, I almost cried.
Was late to class and my face was pale white. I could not look at myself, but Night told me. Cat asked me whether I’m having a bad mood. Solemnly I reply with only an “Ehn.”
Couldn’t talk to anyone, only sms with KY and you.
I did not want to tell mum about this, didn’t want her to get worry but I guess I can’t take it anymore. I have to tell her, and ask her to ask my doctor what I should do.
At last, during class mum replied saying that it is normal for it to burst. I felt so relieve, I could smile again.
Although this is supposed to happen, I still have to bear the pain, and take good care of my leg. I hope that this time it will be cured and I don’t have to worry about it. Don’t have to make the people around me worry.
Recover faster…
Accidentally knock my left hip to something last week, and I felt pain since then. Been clumsy, and knocking into things lately.
To those who knows, n saw it…it has become red and purple.
But don’t worry. I am ok.
Last two days were SUKEM, which is the inter colleges athletics championship. After leaving the tracks for quite awhile, I am amaze that I still have some tricks up my sleeves. Hahaha…
Got 3 gold medals and 1 bronze out of 4 events. Did not expect this many gold, and I could not sleep the night before the 1st event.
This time it is so different, meeting new friends in a totally new environment that no one knows you. except for a few friends lah. Who is fast and who’s not? Who can I share what I am feeling right that moment? Who will feel happy for me when I win? Who will be cheering for me when I feel scared?
This time is different, coz you call up, and everything changes.
It is a miracle that I can still run with my bump on my left leg. Yet yesterday the skin started to peel, a sitting down on the floor sometime hurts.
Worried, I start to think, if I die, what will it be? So many things going on in this second who will know how I really feel? So many to say to so many cherish people. I can’t die like this.
Then, when I woke up this morning, I look at it. There’s white thing coming out. I am positive that I am going to die. Gone crazy for a while, but I kept on with my daily routine.
Go bath, eat breakfast, play FB. Den, I look at it again. the white stuff came oozing out. I just gotta wipe it away. While wiping, I keep thinking, when oni can wipe finish?
Change my clothes and when to take bus. In the bus, I almost cried.
Was late to class and my face was pale white. I could not look at myself, but Night told me. Cat asked me whether I’m having a bad mood. Solemnly I reply with only an “Ehn.”
Couldn’t talk to anyone, only sms with KY and you.
I did not want to tell mum about this, didn’t want her to get worry but I guess I can’t take it anymore. I have to tell her, and ask her to ask my doctor what I should do.
At last, during class mum replied saying that it is normal for it to burst. I felt so relieve, I could smile again.
Although this is supposed to happen, I still have to bear the pain, and take good care of my leg. I hope that this time it will be cured and I don’t have to worry about it. Don’t have to make the people around me worry.
Recover faster…
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